Doing my PhD has only during my first year proven to be no easy thing, however, I didn't really expect anything else but hard work. A true test of commitment, resilience and adaptability.
So in spite of that fact and state of mind, the first year has been filled with ups and downs and in the end I had to deal with a lack of communication ending in a shocking revelation that what I did was, timewise, not enough.
To be fair, I didn't know what was required, but I quickly had to realise my shortcomings and reorganise my work time to make it more efficient. I also had to demonstrate more outward commitment and passion regarding my project.
Honestly I didn't find it too hard to manage my time at work, however, it was not without its tradeoffs, including gymtime and family.
Outwardly showing my passion for my project was a somewhat more difficult story though, since I guess I'm just not that kind of person. I think I solved it in an agreeable manner though, by constantly sending updates, questions and suggestions to my supervisor whenever something new came up, sometimes several times a day.
As a complement to my first literature review I have to write down my thoughts, plans and hopes for my project. This is where I'm supposed to find my niche and dig down into something that really excites me. I've always been a generalist in my interest of marine biology, and prior to starting my PhD I thought of myself as a marine ecologist. Pursuing questions at the ecosystem level. I still have that interest, often linked to global environments. That is the major strength of my current project where I study tiny microorganisms with a clear link to biomes and global environmental impacts. I'm not a modeller though, so most of these links are interpretations of data and conclusions drawn from previous and complimentary research to form hypotheses and theories. Nonetheless, it's still plausible and damn interesting. There are no experiments that could ever cover a global scale, with acceptable resolution, anyway.
I'm still fascinated by the prospect of "seeing the future" though. My proposed ocean acidification experiment was shut down largely due to technical difficulties and more experienced researchers reluctance to collaborate on the subject.
I'm tempted to try my luck down the road of global warming instead, which is the other major issue of global environmental change. That research question recently showed a lot more promise when we finally got one of our studied microbes in culture.
Because of this I'm extra thankful for doing my PhD in Sweden where I, as a student, have the perks of both studying and being employed by the state.
It's still somewhat tedious to commute on a weekly basis. I've done it for so many years previously so I've kind of gotten used to it by now, but never this far. However the distance is not the main issue most of the time. Down-time on the train are usually perfect opportunities for reading, writing and napping. No, the worst are those sudden moments of stabbing longingness for my crazy kids and lovely wife. I don't think that is something that will ever change, but I would argue that this, in the bigger picture, is something positive. I just have to deal with it.
In that regard the gym is my sanctuary. It always has been, and always will be. In there it's just me and the iron. It doesn't matter how passionate I might feel about my work. The gym is always... different.
