Steam

During the long duration stations (LD) there are a lot of physical parameters measured every third hour as well as different buoys being deployed along our drift. These buoys are mainly for continuously measuring these physical parameters in a deep depth profile for a long time to come, which means we are not going to recover them.

The physical parameters measured using the CTD on board every third our mainly serves the purpose of confirming that we still are within the eddie and designated sampling area. So at this point my sampling is of no matter for the on board science team. On the other hand I'm not running the qPCR, but only archiving samples for analysis back home. It is less stressful but more work.

 

After this day of work I had some acute issues back home, which I of course could do nothing about, more than offer my advice and thoughts on the matter. It pains me greatly and leaves me with a feeling of hopelessness, frustration and guilt. I know these feelings may at some points be misplaced but they are there nonetheless.
So I did the only thing I could do being in a state of inertia from too little sleep after working night and being filled with emotions I couldn't deal with at this moment. I shut down and went to the "gym" to work off some steam.
The rubber band I bought prior to the cruise is quite weak but it serves the purpose of muscle fever quite effectively after a few extra reps.

Waiting for breakfast

For you guys back home in Sweden, this might seem like I'm not doing anything else than blogging today. However, since my last post I've had half a night's sleep and several hours of work already.
Me and my colleague have a "every second day routine" where we take samples off the CTD. In my case for RNA and my colleague for FISH (fluorescence in-situ hybridization) and microscopy. My goal here is to bring these samples home with me and later analyze them using qRT PCR which will allow me to identify activated genes within my targets. Since we by now are getting quite effective timewise, we're already done with sampling and cleaning up 45 min before breakfast. This is certainly not enough time for sleeping and would only make me more miserable when I have to get up for breakfast. At least I can do some writing to pass the time and I can also have a chat with my wonderful fiancée who are getting ready for bed at this time. Oh, how I wish I could get cozy with her in our large bed now, instead of being alone in my cramped bunk bed. If it wasn't for the fact that I usually have plenty of work occupying my thoughts I would probably go mad longing for her. It seems like she is doing alright, which also makes me feel better about it all.
Now I'm definately getting that breakfast. My growling stomach is killing me!

Sleepless nights

I've been thinking to write another blog post for a couple of days but not really found the energy too. I suppose it is part to the weird work hours that I currently have during the long duration station (LD). It makes me really tired when I have to get up at 03.00 every morning for sampling and water filtration. The other part could be that not much has really happened on board the ship these last few days. Work is slowly becoming a scheduled routine and the space on board starts to feel rather cramped.

Or it might just all be rambling by a tired mind. Getting up so early gives no night time sleep what so ever and I have to go to bed fairly early the day before. Thankfully I can sleep a few hours after breakfast the following day but at that time the harm is already done and I wake up before lunch feeling like a heavy night out drinking.

At least there are laughing matters on board even though a lot of stuff is not running smoothly for anyone at the moment (or so it seems). For example, I had requested a phone card for the satellite phone earlier this week (no idea how I'm going to pay for it since apparently I was lied to when being informed that they accept pacific francs, but that will have to be a later problem to deal with), so the guy responsible for giving me such a card approached me earlier today.
Me and some other "English speakers" were having a beer on front deck when he came by and told me in no uncertain fashion that he could not sell me a phone card. Naturally I asked why, to which he replied that I can't make calls to the US (yep, that's right).
There was a brief moment of silence and weird glancing around until he, noticing the awkward situation, continued by saying that I can only make calls to France or Europe.
At that very moment I had no clue how to save the situation, and I don't think my "as a matter of factly" reply helped to save his face when I just stated: -But I'm swedish.
I should stop hanging out with the only american on board or the french should just quit assuming that every non-french is american, thank you very much.

Tomorrow I will spike my SIMS bottles with 15N2 and 13C-bicarb for the nutrient amendment experiment that started yesterday. I was also given bottles for RNA and DNA filtration by the team responsible for measuring the bulk nitrogen fixation in the experiment. We will have plenty to do these coming days, even during day time.

Long duration station

25/2
So a lot has happened in a very short time since my last post.
After another successful qPCR run (where we had hits on UCYNB throughout the water column) together with the physical parameters it was decided that we make our first long duration station (LD) here at our third short duration station (SD). Why this was the case is not simple, not in the slightest, our data just played one part in it. For the LD to be successful it has to have a propper eddie and the right currents that won't send us off track as soon as the mooring is put down. Even though we are far out at sea, 6 days of drifting during the LD could also take us dangerously close to either a barrier reef or a sea mound.
There is also a guy back in France that analyses satellite imagery and providing us with information on ideal sampling conditions concerning e.g. surface chlorophyll concentrations and currents. The most ideal location based on that data, provided by the guy in France, would be some distance to the east. However the currents there could possibly set us on a course nortward on our 6 day drift of LD and that would take us into Vanatu waters. Apparently France and Vanatu is currently having a diplomatic crisis and since L'Atalante sails under French flag we are not allowed in Vanatu waters. I did not expect this to be a hindrance for research vessels in the year of 2015...

So the LD is decided. Luckily we did at least detect a few cells of diatom diazotroph associations (DDA) per liter of surface water using microscopy, which means I'm running my incubation experiments.
To prepare for this LD mooring though the ship had to do several zig-zagging maneuvers and measure physical parameters to scout and continuously observe the area of our LD, all the while comming back to one central location in the chosen eddie. This took an entire day, which gave us ample opportunity to theoretically prepare our collaborative experiments.
It is essentially my samples for my PhD thesis but I'm collaborating with a group of French scientists who will measure the bulk for all of us on that particular experiment.
In practice I will be adding several nutrients in high concentrations in 2.5 liter bottles and later spike them with 15N2 and 13C-bicarb to finally let them incubate for 24 hours. I hope to see if the DDAs are limited by any of these nutrients.

The evening before the start of sampling for the first LD (yes, we will actually start the LD at midnight and I've been assigned to the 03.00 CTD, zzzzzzzz!) there was a humble gathering on front deck with free drinks, celebrating the birthday of one of the French scientists, which also turned out to be a nice social event out of the labs for everyone.
Before finalizing the preparations for my early morning sampling I went up on front deck again, in the darkness this time, to just have a bit of calm looking at the starry sky. I didn't see much at first, but as my eyes adjusted to the dark of night, only slightly lit up by an unusually bright moon (at least in my opinion), an amazing nightsky revealed itself. It reminded me so much of clear winter nights back home, however, I've probably never felt smaller or more humbled by the sheer vastness of it all. I think the reason why was because of the neverending and slightly dim horizon all around together with the rocking of the ship. It all made the sky look painted in place, as if I was staring up from the central bottom of a tropical snow globe. If it wasn't for the fact that I need to go to bed, I could have stayed there, watching the sky and the reflection of the moon in the still ocean for hours, while reflecting on the purpose of it all.

The first morning off

To be honest I've no idea what to do with this sudden spare time we got. The transfer to the next SD, which will most likely be our first LD depending on our qPCR data, will take some 14 hours and since the CTD was malfunctioning during our last SD we were late on leaving.

I figured that I could write about some random stuff just for the fun of it, and then visit our modern gym down below. Hell yeah! I'm glad I brought a resistance rubber band.

1: During the day of transfer from the IRD to the R/V L'Atalante it was really hot and humid and carrying heavy boxes in such conditions takes a heavy toll on you. So I ran into the largest supermarket downtown to buy some water and salty crackers. Unfortunately I'm again not very skilled in French so I ended up buying magnesium enriched water and sweet biscuits. The water tasted terrible, which I loudly complained to everyone about until someone came up with a great idea. Apparently there's a lemon tree in the backyard of the IRD, so I went there, picked my own fresh lemons and made my very own lemonade on the terrible water. Much better! Thank you very much! The biscuits I forgot in the car... oh well...

2: There's a New Caledonian guy in the crew, who just loves football and since New Caledonia is French his favorite team is of course Paris Saint-Germain. I suppose you all know where this is going by now. Anyway, I spoke with him a bit in the beginning of the cruise, although he is far from fluent in English. His name is Franck anyway, and he asked me where I was from. It was a bit difficult to explain about the country of Sweden, until suddenly, his face shone up brightly and he asked "Zlatan, Zlatan Ibrahimovic?". When I said yes, that just made him even happier.
From that day forward, every time i meet him anywhere on the ship he says "Zlatan!" and gives me a high five.

3: So the reason for my "big" cash withdrawal before the departure of Nouméa is simple. I had found out that they would sell beer on board. Naturally that is something I would like to end every long workday with. It's far from the best I've ever had but at least it tastes beer. I also realised when on board that I would have the opportunity to buy phone cards for the satellite phone. I'm happy I brought a big note!

4: Just an interesting observation the other night. Me and my colleague sat down on the dimly lit back deck for a beer after a long workday filled with miserable failures. So I took the opportunity, while sipping my beer, to look up at the night sky. I couldn't see too much at a glance, but I spotted one star, a really bright one which was moving.
I nudged my colleague and asked him about it. Naturally he didn't have an answer either since it was moving rather erratically. However, the more I looked the more "moving stars" I saw.
I then realised how stupid I was at that moment. The ship was obviously rocking back and forth in all directions and I didn't even notice... We've only been out at sea for a few days so I suspect that solid ground after 6 weeks will most likely be weird at best.

Scientific goals and purpose

I suppose it is about time that I explain a bit about why I'm actually away on a scientific cruise (in more detail), what my goals are, what my responsibility on board is and what my field of expertise is exactly.

The fact that I just started my PhD at Stockholm University is probably old news for most people reading this, but field and scope of my thesis is probably not common knowledge (not even for my family, sorry guys), which might be the case for various reasons.
Anyway, my field is nitrogen fixation and nitrogen fixers in tropical open oceans, where my scope is on symbiotic relationships between phytoplankton (the diatom group) and nitrogen fixing cyanobacteria (also called diazotrophs). These symbiotic relationships, also referred to as Diatom-Diazotroph Association (DDA) are hypothezised to be very important for e.g. nutrient cycles in the open ocean and are quite understudied. Therefore I'm also interested in how these relationships play out in future open oceans in the face of global change.

I will try to answer the questions of activity and distribution of these DDAs as well as describing the very nature of the relationship and finally investigating the effects of global change (ocean acidification and global warming).

So the reason why I'm on this cruise is to collect samples for my thesis questions and research goals. I will do this by continuously take DNA samples from every station (in a depth profile) not knowing if the DDAs are present or not and then hopefully be able to take RNA samples (in a depth profile) when they are abundant. That might seem like enough work, but happily it doesn't end there. In addition I will be running experiments on board.
I will collect surface samples and spike with 15N2 and 13C, and then treat them with different substances and nutrients to find out what is limiting the DDAs and how. I will do this analysis by the use of the SIMS (Secondary Ion Mass Spectrometry).
I will also spike samples from a depth profile, again for analysis by the SIMS (with this instrument we can for example study the flows of N and C within single cells).

However, I've been out at sea for a few days now and not run any of the on board experiments yet, so most of the work I've been doing so far (except for my DNA samples) concerns my responsibility on board.
Putting together a cruise like this requires a lot of planning and work and there's the basic need for choosing sampling sites. So by the use of our qPCR I can target four different unicellular diazotrophs (UCYNA1, UCYNA2, UCYNB and UCYNC, too small to detect otherwise) and within a few hours after sampling provide a fairly accurate number of cells/liter in a depth profile (now when the standard curves of the qPCR are finally awesome).
The organisers of the cruise will use this data, together with some physical factors to decide where we put our long duration stations (LD).
It is very exciting that my data is that important but there is also the weight of responsibility, even heavier in this case, but if I were to chose again I would not have it any other way.

Proper day of sampling (SD)

22/2
So this first day of sampling was very hectic, but we managed to get everything done before dinner and made the qPCR (quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction) in 4 hours.
To increase our efficiency for next short duration station (SD) we decided to do new dilutions and aliquots of our primers and probes after dinner, so it all concluded with a 15 hour workday and bed at 22.30.

Next SD will be tomorrow morning already and we decided upon a few slight changes for it. We will slightly dilute our standards (by 1:10), set up another pump for sample water filtration and to do a quick survey of the surface water using microscopy to decide on the amount of microscopy samples that day.

So the full day comprised of microscopy of surface water, water collection from a CTD rosette (as seen above), filtration followed by immediate DNA extraction, qPCR and calculations for the UCYN targets. Meanwhile we stored the water for our thesis samples in the incubators on front deck, so they would stay fresh and unaltered, and then filtered them after running the qPCR.
So from those bottles we gathered DNA samples and microscopy samples, flash freezing the DNA samples in liquid nitrogen and storing them in -80 degrees celsius for analysis back home. The microscopy samples were simply stored in -20 degrees celsius.

After such a long workday there weren't much time for anything during the evening, nor did I have the energy to. So I simply went to bed and wrote a couple of pages in my journal.
I got the Facebook messenger to work on my computer so I could exchange a few sweet messages with my fiancée during the afternoon and early evening, which was nice. It made me feel a lot better after a long day. I fell asleep wishing I could give her a great long hug at that very moment.

Finally, here's a taste of a tropical sunset at sea. A "sailor's TV". I have a whole timeserie of these pictures with differing shapes and colours of the sky.

A taste of life at sea

This is the first day out at sea, and so far it has been good. The ship is steadily rocking back and forth a bit, not uncomfortably so and I've experienced no seasickness but the constant motion apparently makes me very tired. At the end of the workday I fell asleep at 20.00.

We are currently two days behind schedule which means we will have to skipp one short duration station of sampling and tomorrow will be a test station for everyone to make sure their equipment and methods are in working order. So the day after tomorrow we will, after two days of transit at sea from Nouméa, have our first short duration station.

When it comes to life on the ship it has been both good and bad, simple and difficult but the overall impression is positive. The cabins are nice and spacious, the lab space is alright and the restaurant serves really good food (the french are seriously passionate about their food). In addition to that we also have a lounge, a tiny gym, a large conference room with stationary computers and a laundry (not that I've had the time to actually benefit from either though).

Internet is likely going to stay patchy at best since we are all sharing the same limited bandwidth, which is a huge letdown for me since I was hoping to be able to communicate back home using Skype (which was originally promised). This information leaves me with a feeling of isolation and a knot in my stomach which I will have to deal with. I sorely miss just hearing the voice of my fiancée already and it has just been 3 days since we last spoke. It seems like we have access to a satellite phone on board but I don't know the exact price for calls to Sweden (it's about 7 SEK/min to France), but it's a solution to my dilemma, which I don't know how to cope with at this time.

So on a more humorous note, I've had my biggest french stereotype confirmed this first day at sea! It is both a laughing matter and a matter of frustration. It seems like we are only 5 non-french speaking people on board who most french speakers have no respect for whatsoever. All communication and information is in french (even today's safety information and drills) and you really have to pull the english out of them (a few exceptions occur, thankfully). Some people in the crew don't even speak or understand english.

The food is a holy grail to them and we actually have a waiter serving us our meals, which typically is a 3-course meal two times a day (lunch and dinner) and then breakfast of course. The downside to it is that they have lunch at 11.00 and then dinner at 19.00 (bloody 8 hours between meals!). The only thing I can do about that is stack up with fruit during the previous day and rely on my diet supplement that I brought. Oh, and on the food; they eat baguettes and cheese for every meal, every day and even though it is against international rules at sea, they still serve wine at lunch and dinner. I don't even drink wine.

The weather is nice though. Saknar dig älskling.

Setting up the lab

19/2
Since I fell asleep writing yesterday I will kind of continue that post now.
Not much have happened in addition to yesterday's lab setup/unpack craze. All our equipment successfully loaded and delivered to what was supposed to be our lab space, we started unpacking and setting everything up. This took most of the remaining time of the day. Since we have 270 kg of equipment with us (in 17 boxes) we had a fun time just moving around in a maze of equipment (not just our own).

Since we will be running samples in a qPCR (quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction) it is also important that we split our lab into two separate locations in different rooms. The reason for this is that the qPCR is run with our environmental samples and primers and probes for our target organisms, but to be able to actually calculate their abundance we have to have a standard serie as reference. So you can imagine the outcome if we accidentally contaminated our environmental samples with the standards? Crazy high numbers of cells/liter detected. Therefore we keep the standards in a completely different room from the rest of the qPCR reagents.

The following day (read 19/2) has mostly been organising our lab bench after unpacking and setting up and then a brief visit in downtown Nouméa to get some last minute supplies and cash (why we need cash now I'll get to later).

Oh, and I helped out with refilling some of the liquid nitrogen dewars (including ours) early this morning. It looks pretty cool with all the smoke it makes when in contact with the warm air and the liquid actually boils in contact with warm surfaces. We need the liquid nitrogen for flash freezing and storing samples.

The only major thing that needs to be done now is organising the qPCR, run the verification plate (just to make sure nothing has happened with it during shipping) and then a test run with the standards only.
I very much hope that our reagents are still functional since the -20 freezer broke down yesterday.Typical. At least we had a thermo box and some ice so I think we are good.

The departure from Nouméa has been postponed a second time, now scheduled for the morning of the 20/2.

From the IRD to the R/V L'Atalante

Internet onboard is currently severely lacking so I will not be able to upload more than one or two pictures per post for the time being (hopefully it will be better later on).

18/2
I'm finally lying in bed, and this time on board the R/V L'Atalante, in my own little bunkbed. It actually reminds me of a cozy hideout you would build as a kid out of numerous pillows and blankets, simply because I can close both sides of my bottom bunk with curtains, effectively blocking out all light (I wish that so was also the case for the noise of my snoring german friend in the top bunk).
This german who I'm sharing my fairly spacious cabin with is another scientist, somewhat my age, so that's good. None of the scientists on board have had any real time to just hang out and socialize this stressful day, but the german seems ok.

There have been so many new impressions and experiences today, along with 100 % humidity and >30 degrees celsius (and a fair bit of sunlight) while carrying more boxes that I can remember, transferring them from the IRD to the ship. So if this blog would somehow have been audible you would have heard my first sentence accompanied by a deep sigh.

After writing that last sentence I actually fell asleep, pen and journal still in my hand.

P.S. for those of you interested in following the actual route of the research vessel out at sea it is registered, and can be followed at marine traffic:
http://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/details/ships/shipid:175428/mmsi:8716071/vessel:L%20ATALANTE

First workday in a rainy Nouméa

The rain doesn't really bother me, especially when I'm working most of the day indoors and the outside temperature is still way above comfortable due to a ridiculous humidity.
Walk down one street and that morning shower will seem like a big waste of time and laundry.

Me and my colleague had an awesome breakfast (probably the best part of staying at a hotel) at the hotel before going to the IRD (L’Institut de recherche pour le développement) and our first workday.
We quickly found our equipment which had been delivered a few days earlier and got setup in a molecular lab. Our contact person was really helpful and provided all we needed in addition to our own equipment. After going through some planning and practical details we got the work quickly progressing and after a few hours we had pipetted aliquots of all our chemicals (except the standards) as well as re-eluting and diluting primers, probes and standards for the qPCR. In addition we had to track down some "absolute vodka" (not really, this shit is way better) to add to our DNA extraction buffers before making aliquots.

In terms of preparing our methodology we only have a configuration plate to run on the qPCR and then confirming our Ct values from the standard dilution serie that we made today. Just to make sure that our standard curve is good enough (and adjust it by diluting in case it isn't). If it's not good enough our estimations of number of cells/liter for the target organisms could be severely inaccurate.

Since both me and my colleague really had to sit down and think about what we were supposed to do, how we were supposed to do it and why, to then land at the concluding question of "how do we want it while working on the ship", I think we actively learned a lot, pulling forth our previous passive introductory skills into active ones. It felt good, and it felt even better when the day's work was done.

After work, although rather late, we managed to find some time for leisure. A mandatory dip in the sea and also a swim in the pool. The rain was just pouring down but I didn't really mind. It reminded me of always going for a swim during heavy rainfall when I was a kid, because the water felt warmer due to the temperature difference between the air/cold rain and warmer water. That was not the case here though, where it was all equally warm. In the evening I got the opportunity to taste both a local and a Tahiti beer at a rather fancy, but half empty bar (probably due to the lack of tourists this time of year). They were not very good...

Bound for Nouméa

The following is an excerpt from my physical journal that my thoughtful fiancée gave me for x-mas.
It was scribbled down during my 26 hour flight from Sweden to New Caledonia:

15/2
This will be my first entry on my two month journey that will take me to the South Pacific for sampling for my PhD.
We are just about to depart Amsterdam with the destination Osaka, Japan. It will be an 11 hour flight over Siberia.
I won't lie, I'm quite nervous about this whole trip. It has been a long time since I've been out this long and far. In addition to that I'm now supposed to work as well. Get scientific methodology done right.
Last time I was abroad for longer than two weeks was my 'round the world trip back in 2007-08. I've come a long way since then, and I'm positive that that experience has given me plenty of confidence well needed for this journey.
I'm embarking on something that most people will never have the opportunity to do and I'm thrilled about it, but at the same time I have a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat this first day of my journey.
I know very well why, and it is because of one of the major differences from my adventures back in 2007-08... I have a family of my own now.
I suppose I didn't really know the extent of my emotions until now, even though I could imagine this day as it drew near.
I know that I will see them all again soon enough. Two months is, comparably, not a long time, but it is the longest I've ever been away from them.
My beautiful fiancée, standing strong in my absence. She kept it together this morning when I could not. I'll be man enough to admit that I shed a tear when I got into my dad's car and left for the airport.
My awesome kids (even though they drive me nuts sometimes), waving me off from the window.
I sorely miss them all already. It is a collective feeling hard to fully describe nor comprehend.
If you've been there you know. If you one day get there, you will surely know.
Thank you my love for this small journal, it actually meant a lot to me. Now I'm carrying you all with me.

16/2
At least I think it's the 16th.
It was a long flight from Amsterdam to Osaka, but the night passed very fast even though I probably didn't sleep more than an hour in total. However, I'm not feeling particularly tired. I suppose that's due to increasing excitement as the final destination and actual start of work approaches.
Osaka airport was rather confusing and also stressful, getting to the connecting flight in time.
Thankfully the japanese staff was very helpful, especially as my colleague had some issues with his check-in and baggage. In the end it turned out that it was all due to the staff in Stockholm Arlanda not doing their job.
In the end we got on our 8 hour flight bound for Nouméa, after many confusing questions and directions mainly in french or japanese (I don't reckon looking particularly japanese).

Now we have finally arrived safely at our hotel Nouvata Parc in Nouméa. It is almost 2 O'clock in the morning and it's time to hit the sheets before some last on-site cruise prep at the local research institute, the IRD, in a few hours. Aliquots and dilutions. Pipetting at its finest!

Deadline

This will be my last post before leaving swedish soil.
It is with mixed feelings I'm writing this, and I don't know why. Perhaps it is the family guy in me expressing his feelings at the same time as I'm feeling excited about going abroad again in work purposes.

Today was the deadline for my final written assignment before going on the cruise, my "State of the Art", which basically is a review on the up-to-date research in my field. It has been a lot of work, mostly reading some 50 scientific papers, and then writing an information packed assay.
The purpose of this assignment is to quickly get knowledgeable in my field and gain a few written credits for my PhD study plan. The only one who's actually gonna read it is my supervisor (a bit sad, but true, considering the amount of work). However, I'll let you in on a little secret, I wrote most of it in three days, due to several circumstantial events.

I have also gotten my planned onboard workflow accepted by my supervisor, which was a great confirmation of me actually grasping my research on board.

Our equipment have been sitting in customs in Noumea for a couple of days now and after getting a rather desperate e-mail from our shipping agent in Sweden saying that the receiver is unavailable, we started reaching out to people involved (actually doing their job for them, but what can you do when time is running short). To our dismay it turns out that 2 out of 3 contacts are on vacation and the third is unresponsive. How could we not have gotten this information before shipping!? Fingers crossed that responsible persons on site will help us out (since their information have clearly been lacking, bloody french... :-P).

Well, the best lessons learned are the ones by trial and error, right? Hopefully it won't be a complete disaster at least, because that would be a rather hard lesson for such a major event this early in my PhD.

Early mornings and final week of prep

The absolutely worst part of going back and forth between Stockholm and my hometown is the early monday mornings. I don't care much for mondays since I love my job but mornings....
Those of you who know me fairly well also know that my idea of a good start of any day of the week does NOT involve the alarm clock going off at 04.30. So painfully obvious as it is, me not being a morning person, I'm somewhat happy that most of the following morning I can spend in relative seclusion on a not so crowded train for 3 hours. Having a second breakfast is also nice!

Leaving my family for 5 days is not very comforting either on these dark and cold monday mornings. However, I thankfully think that we all have come to terms with the fact of my current reality and profession even though it's a bit painful to close that sturdy outer door when I leave. For a reason I can't describe, it always brings with it a brief moment of hesitance. As if that brief moment somewhat would grant me the insight needed to alter my reality and stay home with my family, or perhaps just wishing that so was actually the case.

Anyhow, this is the final week of preparation before leaving for Noumea (New Caledonia) and the OUTPACE research cruise and I'm positive that it will be just as stressful as the weeks preceding it.
After shipping all our research equipment (270 kg) in advance with a swedish agent they now finally arrived safely in Noumea (after 10 days). One less thing to worry about since getting ones equipment through customs in whatever country could at times prove a lengthy process.

So this week will mostly entail learning the details of the qPCR (quantitative Polymerase Chain Reaction) instrument and then analyze and calculate the data from it. There will also be some time for going through our onboard workflows again just to make absolutely sure everything runs smoothly once on board the research vessel.
Oh, and did I mention I also have a deadline for a massive written assignment? Better keep my eyes on those juggling balls, dropping even one could prove disappointing indeed.

Eligible for boarding

Who said that going on a cruise would be simple? I suppose I must have convinced myself about that somehow during the preparations. Because I've certainly no memory of anyone informing me about it being that, or the opposite - difficult.

The cruise organizers required two different medical forms prior to embarking on the cruise. These had to be filled in by a doctor, and that was that (or so I thought).
Reality struck me like an open palm to the face and I, quite literally, ended up with a blank stare on my face and heaps of questions going something like - why? or why not?

Deadline for sending in these forms were today. If not, I wouldn't be able to board the research vessel due to rules set up by the french institute arranging the cruise.
The best part of the story is that all information regarding this needed medical evaluation was in french (at least the part actually needed by the doctor). Just a side note: I don't know a single word of french. The organizers was not very clear as to how this information would be handled but there would certainly not be anyone medically trained at the receiving end (which begs my previous question: why?). My doctor would not hear any of it though and stated -as a matter of factly- that we are doing this 4-page analysis on you (thank you IFREMER (the french)). Great!

So after two medical appointments and numerous e-mails I finally have a whole bunch of papers proving that I'm medically fit to board the research vessel (and probably also for going to Mars...) and one form with that tiny signature and stamp of my doctor which was all I really needed.

Preparations, preparations and more preparations!

So the cruise preparations are still in full swing. This has been going on since before Christmas but has seriously intensified during the last few weeks.
Last week we finally shipped all our equipment to Noumea, New Caledonia, and then it felt rather final. I was wrong.

Since we are going to work at a very remote location at the other side of the globe it is extremely important that everything work the way it should, and now I'm not only speaking about methods and instruments but also about plans and experimental designs.
In the middle of this, my understanding of the experimental setup/design and sampling is crucial, and since a lot of it is fairly new, it has been taking up much of my time.
Thankfully my supervisor has been very supportive, even though I'm hoping I won't need as much support in future setups, but hey, it's only my first few months of PhD anyway.

Planning this whole thing can't be easy either, but confusing answers or unanswered questions by the cruise organizers doesn't really help my current situation. Again, I thank my supervisor for looking out for me. I'm convinced that flexibility will be the key here.

There will be almost 60 people on board this research vessel (R/V L'Atalante), mostly scientists and a majority of them being oceanographers. So there will be a lot of stuff going on and much of it will probably be outside of my field, me being one of the few biologists on board.
So in part due to that, as well as a set and pressed schedule (including budgeted sampling water) it is important that I stay on top of the game. Oh, and I'm also (together with my PhD colleague in crime) responsible for the on board identification and quantification of target microbes, which will decide the sampling stations for the whole crew. No pressure.

So one week before the cruise (and probably up the the final day before departure) I'm still preparing, for my first ever scientific cruise.

The beginning

The picture shows where it all started. In the Gullmar fjord outside of the marine research station Kristineberg (University of Gothenburg). Well, to be honest the dream of being a full fledged researcher emerged a lot earlier than that, but this was were I unconsciously chose my research interest. After my master thesis I could title myself a marine microbiologist.

With that said, what I'm doing now is actually living my dream. As many wise people have proclaimed, it's not all about the goal but about the journey to it. I feel that this is certainly true in my case. A year ago I had a "regular" job and happened to come across a scientific program on TV one evening. There I saw marine biologists studying certain parameters at sea. I told myself that THAT is what I would REALLY like to do. Now, one year later, I'm going on my own research cruise.

There have certainly been speed bumps along the way, but the trick is to try and keep up the speed once you've passed over it. Perhaps even pick up a bit of a bounce to more easily clear the next one. Because there sure will be another one down the road, no matter which road you pick.
Starting a family has been an adventure in its own, and also a challenge, but it has been one separated from my adventures in academia. Going home to visit them on a weekly basis only - sometimes longer than that - has been, and still is, tough for all of us. Thankfully, they are supportive, which demonstrates that starting a family while building a career is not impossible it just requires more effort.

In the end I am doing this for all of us. For me, for them. I'm living my dream.